WOOOOOOO

Rollin doobies up, huh?

Man.  I'd like to preface this review with the fact that I FUCKS WITH RICK ROSS.  So fucking much.  Really, out of everyone who's out doing shit regularly, Ross might be my favorite artist.  There's so much hate out there for dude, when really, he works hard.  He promotes his artists.  Who's put out more videos than him recently?  He does 95% of the shit that niggas bitch about label execs not doing, yet people hate him...for what?  Because he's got a fake persona?  Who fucking cares?  You're that worried about what another man did back in the day?  And he puts out quality work.  From Deeper Than Rap to the present, he really might be the most consistent artist.  Seriously, you've got, what, Deeper Than Rap, Ashes to Ashes, Albert Anastasia, Teflon Don, Rich Forever, and now God Forgives, I Don't...dude has put out quality work.  I've seen people mad because he's poppin commercially and his sound is ubiquitous...OK.  Go pop in your Immortal Technique cassette or your Papoose shit.  Just don't act like you're "real hip-hop" because you hate everyone on the radio.

Not really untouchable...but I fucks with it

If you've been following Ross at all, you know that he's a master of the absurd.  He has no platinum albums...in fact, no rapper in his crew has a platinum album...yet he runs "The Untouchable Maybach Music Empire" hahahaha.  He clearly gives no fucks about reality, which is great.  It works for him, and honestly, all signs point to him getting money, so...fuck it.



1. Pray For Us - Typical cinematic opening....if he had gotten DMX to sign to the label, it would have been dope as FUCK to have DMX do the prayer for this instead of using the joint from Baby Boy.


2. Pirates - Rick Ross has great delivery.  I think people sleep on him because his bars aren't the best, but have we seen a rapper so good at realizing what he's good at?  If you listen to Trilla or Port of Miami, you can tell he didn't yet know what his strengths were.  Those problems are far in the past now.  You already know what Ross is about, so drug dealing references abound.  Won't lie, when Meek Mill jumped in for a second, I was hoping for a verse.  I REALLY get annoyed with 2 verse tracks, but since this is basically an intro track, I'll deal.  Overall it's a typical Ross track, which means it's a pretty damn good start - 4/5

3. 3 Kings (Ft. Dr. Dre and Jay-Z) - Disclaimer: Jay-Z is my favorite rapper.  I think he's the GOAT, and I'll probably do a blog post detailing my argument for that over other rappers.  The way you all get hyped for an Andre 3000 guest verse...that's how I get for a Jay-Z verse.  So I pretty much already knew that I'd like this track.  Dre spits a verse...that was definitely ghostwritten.  At this point, it's more fun to try to guess who ghostwrote the verse, hahaha.  I'm kinda thinking Ross wrote it, to be honest.  Jay's got bars for days ("millions on the wall in all my rooms, niggas couldn't fuck with my daughter's room/niggas couldn't walk in my daughter's socks, Banksy bitches, Basquiat"), Ross puts in a double shift here with his and Dre's verses, and the beat is nice.  Reminds me of "Shit Popped Off" actually, which makes me think that even though it's credited to Jake One (a beatsmith in his own right), Dre probably had a lot to do with it.  5/5


4. Ashamed - Ross is REALLY good at picking beats.  The running gag is that he should executive produce a Nas album so that Nas actually has some good beats on his album, but really, he truly is that good at selecting beats.  He's rapping over some shit that would sound right at home on Mood Muzik 2 here, but of course, he's not dropping Joe Budden bars, hahaha.  He's actually got some quality introspection here, looking at his life growing up (although we really don't know what's true about Ross at this point), and his flow is good, as usual.  4/5


5. Maybach Music IV (Ft. Ne-Yo) - Really...when I saw this track title, I was looking for some killer features.  Maybe all of MMG?  Maybe Kendrick?  Instead we got solo raps with a Ne-Yo feature.  The beat is by the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, but you already knew that, right?  The format of this one is different from the previous Maybach Musics is different as well; we get 1 long verse and a short one, followed by an outro featuring Ne-Yo and LA Reid.  Shit is dope though.  The flow from this track to the next is great, and really, the sound is just as extravagant as the previous entries.  Personally, I would have rather had a guest verse or even a third verse though, so this one gets a 3.5/5


6. Sixteen (Ft. Andre 3000) - Yo.  Fuck Andre 3000.  Yea I respect the OutKast shit, yea The Love Below was dope, etc. etc. etc.  But really, fuck that dude.  I don't know when dude obtained this cult following, but the shit is annoying.  To be perfectly honest, he isn't that much better than Big Boi.  Not that that's a bad thing, Big Boi is dope as fuck.  But the shit is annoying as hell.  Bun B has a lot of stans, but at least Bun drops solo albums with some regularity, IN ADDITION TO his guest verses.  3000 just sits back and does random movies and Gillette commercials (we ain't forget that shit, bruh).

This guy....

Anyway, when I get past the glorification of this dude, it's a dope track.  Really laid-back and catchy...I actually catch myself doing the whole "when sixteen ain't enough" randomly.  3000 delivers a great verse, but again, I get annoyed with dude because he drops <10 verses a year, so it's like...he'd better be dropping great verses.  Anyway, I don't want to give it a 5 just because it's got that bullshit guitar shit at the end of it.  At least be good at the shit if you're going to be random, Mr. Jimi Hendrix.  Fucker.  Anyway, this one gets a 4.5/5


7. Amsterdam - Continuing with the chill tracks, we get this number.  The subject matter isn't anything special, you already know what Ross raps about.  He does some decent shit talking at the end of the track, and the beat is pretty fucking good.  I really can't stress enough how good Ross is at picking the right beats for his songs.  9th Wonder said some of these other rappers need to enroll in the Ross School of Beat Selection...he has a very valid point.  - 3.5/5


8. Hold Me Back - After all of the chill shit, we get to the other side of Rick Ross...the hood shit.  HONESTLY THOUGH.  WHERE THE FUCK IS FRENCH MONTANA.  HAAAAAAANH WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT ON THIS SHIT.  He's using this one as a single...and surprisingly enough, I actually don't fuck with this one.  I don't know if it's the sequencing or what, but this isn't the type of track that I like Ross rolling solo on.  This one needs either Meek or French. - 2.5/5


9. 911 - Another hood joint.  Another Ross solo.  ANOTHER TRACK THAT NEEDS FRENCH.  FUCK.  I don't really like this one either...I dunno, I think I've grown tired of the hood Rick Ross.  Truthfully, these types of tracks really don't work for Ross without a feature.  Having them back-to-back really compounded this feeling for me.  Before, we had "B.M.F." and "MC Hammer" and both of those were dope (although I could do without Gucci), better than either this or "Hold Me Back" - 3/5


10. So Sophisticated (Ft. Meek Mill) - Word.  Another hood joint, but this one has more bump to it, in my opinion.  That's great for Ross, because the album had hit a lull, and Meek Mill's voice and energy definitely got rid of that.  It's nice to finally have a Meek feature, but he waited mad long to do it...I would've placed this a little earlier.  This was the first "street single" from the album, and it bangs like a single.  Ross actually has some bars on this joint, like "we know you pussies, so you got my niggas masturbating"...double entendres from the BAWSE.  I fuck with this one, it's so sophisticated. - 3.5/5


11. Presidential (Ft. Elijah Blake) - Another one to vibe out to...I feel it though.  Really, even though this is supposed to be more for the ladies, it's the same shit Ross always raps about, so it's not really much different, outside of the beat and hook.  Man, Ross can really make you feel like you ain't doing shit with your life.  Still finds time to drop a bit of truth here though; "I never been in love until I heard a beat." Word.  Now it all makes sense - 3/5


12. Ice Cold (Ft. Omarion) - So on Self Made Vol. 2, I came to love the fact that Ross went out and signed Omarion...regardless of the stupid "Maybach O" nickname and shit.  On "Presidential" I was kinda thinking "yo where is Omarion though?," so having him on this one is dope.  Ross is kinda like Popovich at this point, it really seems like he pulls the best aspects of his team (with the possible exception of Wale).  This is another one for the ladies, in case Omarion's presence didn't alert you to the possibility.  I like it, it's better than "Presidential," probably because of the lack of that random ad-lib" - 4/5



13. Touch'n You (Ft. Usher) - I don't know if any of you listened to Game's R.E.D. Album, but my least favorite part was when he put 3 straight ones for the ladies together...Wale made a similar choice on Ambition.  I really hope this isn't some new trend, because I can't deal.  I guess it's what we get for not buying albums at the same rate that women do, but still, fuck that.  Last thing I'm trying to think about is Ross fucking b.  Was this the first real single?  Anyway, I don't really ever want to play this one again.  Can Usher get the fuck outta here? - 1/5


14. Diced Pineapples (Ft. Wale and Drake) - Another joint for the ladies.  I've gotta say though, I approve of rappers relegating Drake to "Captain Hook" instead of letting him drop a verse.  At this point, I'm hoping Ross has filled his "directed at females" quota for the album.  I'm partial to Wale, but I HATE when he does that poetry shit on tracks, man.  Fuck.  I absolutely LOATHE it.  The beat is smooth, but overall, this one is another one I'd skip. - 2.5/5


15. Ten Jesus Pieces (Ft. Stalley) - Finishing off the album we finally get a Stalley feature.  The beat is suitable for a final track, a really good track to vibe to.  Stalley is nice with it, the whole "Big did it the best, I mean, Nas did it fresh, Jay did it fresh, etc" line was fucking ill.  Some people probably thought he was talking about rapping, but...nah.  Anyway, this is a good way to end the album.  We get a little Spanish outro as well, continuing the Colombian mob boss motif, and really, it works for the most part.  It's hard to get drawn back into the "yo I move bricks" mood after 4 straight tracks for the ladies though.  Rare misstep by Ross in terms of sequencing.  This track, though, is dope - 4/5


Overall, I'm actually disappointed in this album.  Self Made Vol 2 and Rich Forever had me ready for some really great ignorant shit, along with some smooth shit, and while this album does have some good tracks, I just feel like it was weighed down by all of the ballads.  It started off great, hit a lull, kinda got its act together for the late middle, then was bad until getting lifted at the very end.  The bonus tracks are both from Rich Forever, with a new mix of "Triple Beam Dreams" and the same old "Rich Forever"...both are solid tracks, but we've already heard them before.  Since the bonus tracks are just tracks from the mixtape, I'll rate the album without them...this one gets a 3.5/5.  I'm disappointed!  I didn't peep the tracklisting before, so I genuinely expected greatness.  This is the worst collective effort Ross has had in a while...I need some time to adjust to this paradigm shift bruh