Team Previews - Minnesota Timberwolves

We get money longer than AK's arms...

There's been an overall dearth of albums and mixtapes that I've wanted to review...additionally, since I've been working, it's been difficult to allocate time properly to actually write.  Basically I'm lazy as fuck and I prefer to use my free time playing League of Legends, trolling on Twitter, and drinking beer.  I have been (very) gradually working on a couple of posts, but both of them will be long as fuck and I don't even know if I'll finish them before the year is over.  This 3 day weekend might help, as long as I don't get stuck watching LoL tournament games.

However, one thing that I've been interested in lately has been the offseason NBA moves.  A lot of teams have made A LOT of moves and I figure that I should do some posts about some of them.  Obviously the offeseason isn't over yet, AND there will be moves made up until the trade deadline (which is during the season) so some of the thoughts and such I express may well end up outdated.  Still, some of these teams have made transactions that I simply can't wait to talk about.

One of these teams is the Minnesota Timberwolves.  I've been a fan of the Timberwolves (not like...a fan fan, but I keep up with them) pretty much since they drafted Kevin Garnett.  Their jerseys are legit, and they've had some interesting and good players play for them (Garnett, Latrell Sprewell, Stephon Marbury, etc.).  They haven't had good luck in terms of playoff success, and since dealing away Garnett to the Celtics, they've pretty much languished near the bottom of the Western Conference.  Last year, behind the strong play of Kevin Love (really, he was putting up ridiculous numbers in January) and Ricky Rubio, the Wolves looked to be in contention for the final playoff spot in the West.  Then...Kobe's knee launched a tactical attack on Ricky Rubio's knee and the Wolves promptly fell out of control, ending the season losing 13 of their last 14 games.

Probably can't do this anymore....

Attempting to return to the playoffs for the first time since the 2003-2004 season, the Timberwolves have made a number of maneuvers, the most interesting of which could be the acquisition of former Portland Trailblazer Brandon Roy.  In his best season, Roy tallied 22.6/4.7/5.1 on 48/38/82 splits, earning him an All-NBA Second team spot.  Of course, this was all before Roy made it known that his knees had no remaining cartilage, and subsequently retired.  If Roy can return from his retirement (and Kobe's knee procedure) and play at a level anywhere near that, then the 2 year/$10 million contract will be more than worth it, and we can look forward to an interesting season.  Roy is an elite talent, and we are all hopeful for his recovery and return to high-level play.

Fucking Awesome.

However, the Timberwolves didn't stop there.  They also picked up former Utah Jazz All-Star Andrei Kirilenko, who just helped lead Team Russia to a Bronze Medal in the 2012 London Olympics.  6'9" with a long wingspan, Kirilenko once led the league in blocks per game with 3.3, and at 31, still probably has another 3 years of good play left in him.  In a league filled with good offensive 3s (LeBron, Durant, Melo, Granger, Pierce, Deng, etc.), it is absolutely essential to get a versatile 3 with defensive qualities (hence the Nets signing Gerald Wallace, Denver springing to get Iguodala, and now Minnesota acquiring AK-47).  Presumably, AK would be a third option (behind Kevin Love and Brandon Roy), but it's also possible that Minnesota chooses not to overwork Roy, getting AK more touches.  His defensive ability would be more than welcome on a team that allowed over 100 points a game last year, and he really fills the stat sheet like few others.  I'm very excited to see how this move works for them.

The Timberwolves kept rookie Derrick Williams and picked up Alexey Shved, who was on the Russian Olympic team with AK-47. The acquisition of Chase Budinger gives them depth at the 2 and 3, and picking up Greg Stiemsma from the Celtics helps boost the frontline defense that they lacked.  Kevin Love didn't have his most efficient shooting season last year, but 26/13 is nothing to scoff at.  Nikola Pekovic showed much promise last year, and could be due for a breakout offensive season.

Now...when the rumors of Pau Gasol going to Minnesota to play with Rubio were floating around, I was VERY excited about the possibilities, even though defense would be pretty much nonexistent.  Rather than working that route, Kahn attempted to acquire Nicolas Batum, another versatile 3 (with pretty good shooting ability) and when that didn't work out, he made multiple good moves...not something that anyone really expected, to be honest.  While their success is probably still contingent on Rubio's return from the knee assault, I honestly think that Shved could help them in that capacity (instead of them having to rely on J.J. Barea, who I'm not sold on as even a backup 1).

Looking up and down the roster, there is a lot of talent, and if they can just get solid play from the point until Rubio comes back, this will be a playoff contender.  They will be very interesting to watch, especially since, despite his showing last year, one of Derrick Williams' best attributes was supposed to be his outside shooting.  If he can regain the shooting touch he showed at Arizona (he shot like 57% from 3 there), you're looking at a line up with multiple decent 3 point shooters (Love, Williams, Roy, Budinger, and even AK-47), and with versatility on offense.  I'm not sure if Love will have another 26/13 season, but even without that, the scoring that AK and B-Roy bring should be enough to make up for it.  Assuming that Love plays at a 20/10 level, the biggest keys for the Wolves in my opinion are health (they'll be relying on Brandon Roy and Ricky Rubio's knees), and Derrick Williams' development.  If both go smoothly, I wouldn't be surprised at the Timberwolves taking a middle seed in the competitive West.  If both go poorly, the Wolves, despite their talent, will miss the playoffs again.

Winning Time

Can't front, I've had the Craig Ehlo face before =/

WARNING: LOTS OF TEXT AND STATS HERE

NBA TV is going to be the ruin of my life.  During my last couple weeks of employment, the Olympics were going on...and at the same time, NBA TV was showing replays of old playoffs games (and other extraordinary shit like Allen Iverson dropping 50 pts in a game during his rookie season).  At one point last week, they were playing Finals elimination games; that is, the last game in an NBA Finals series.  Some were painful to watch (Philly vs. Los Angeles, 2001) while others were GLORIOUS (Boston vs. LA, 2008).  I pretty much spent every hour watching these replays, noticing stuff that I hadn't before, or just watching games I had missed (I pretty much didn't watch basketball after the 2002 Western Conference Finals until LeBron's game winner against Orlando in 2009...so I missed every year that my team, the Wizards was fucking competitive.  FML)  Anyway, while watching Game 6 of the 2008 NBA Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics, a stat flashed on the screen that caught my attention: in his career up to that point, Kobe Bryant had averaged 21.9ppg in elimination games.

It almost defies logic; the player lauded as the most clutch in the game since Michael Jordan hadn't shown up in the most important games for his team.  Putting the 21.9ppg in perspective for Kobe...his career scoring average is 25.4ppg; his playoff scoring average is 25.6ppg (another indictment; in the playoffs, he averages only .2ppg more than during the regular season?)  21.9ppg is lower than his playoff average, which is already only average for him.  The fact that these are "win or go home" games should mean that they are games to show up for, especially if you're the leader of the team, or you're gunning for Jordan's spot.  However, there have been instances where things that look obvious are actually wrong.  For example, if anyone had asked me who shot more 3-pointers and made them at a more efficient rate between Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James, I would have immediately responded "Melo."  Looking at the numbers, though, not only has LeBron shot more per game (4 attempts to 2.6), but he's made them at a higher rate as well (33.1% to 32.2%...neither is much to brag about, but some people brag about Kobe's when he's shot 33.7%, so....).

Keeping that in mind, I decided to look at a few players and compare their performance in elimination games; Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson, and Dwyane Wade.  To make things fair for Kobe (who didn't start during his first couple of years), I'm only counting games where the players started.  I'm comparing the players' regular season stats, postseason stats, and elimination game stats to show the differences between these 5 players (in my opinion, 5 of the best wing players of the past 2 decades).

Kobe Malone.

Kobe Bryant has been involved in 17 such playoff games.  His average stat line for these games is actually not terrible, I suppose.  It's just that for a top tier player, you'd expect a little more. For the record, Kobe's W-L in these situations is 9-8.  His numbers don't really correlate with the results (for example, who remembers the 6/24 game where Ron Artest and Pau Gasol put in work?).  So, on 42/30/73 splits, we get 23.9ppg, 6.3rpg, 3.8apg, 1.2spg, and 3.1tpg.  Again, not bad, but let's look at his career playoff numbers...

In 200 career playoff games that he started, on 45/34/82 splits, we get 27.4ppg, 5.5rpg, 4.9apg, 1.5spg, and 3.1tpg.  Outside of rebounding (Kobe's had some great rebounding performances in elimination games; you might remember his 15 boards in Game 7 in 2010 against Boston in the Finals), he's performed decidedly worse in elimination game situations.  Making matters worse, we look at his career regular season numbers...

In 1011 games from 1998 to 2012 (he started all but 5), Kobe averaged 27.1/5.7/5.1/1.6/3.1 on 46/33/84 splits.  Once you take out his seasons where he came off the bench, you get some outstanding numbers...27/6/5 over a career is pretty elite.  We already know that defenses are typically better in the playoffs, so the increase on percentages is understandable.  His all-around playoff numbers are roughly equal to his regular season numbers, but the more pressing thing is that his elimination game numbers are terrible in comparison.  Even if we ignore the drop from 44.9 to 41.5 in FG% or the one from 33.5 to 29.7 on 3P%, what is the excuse for the drop from 81.9 to 72.7 in FT%?

THE CHAMP IS HERE.

LeBron has been involved in 10 playoff elimination games, making his calculations pretty easy.  I'll let the numbers do the talking regarding his lines...

His splits are...pretty horrendous.  46/28/69 is pretty damn bad for a top-tier player.  31.4ppg/10.2rpg/6.6apg/1.1spg on the other hand....that's pretty fucking good.  The 4.8 turnovers per game is also pretty bad, but when you're telling someone to take over the game, I guess turnovers happen at a higher rate.  You'd be hard pressed to find someone averaging 31/10/6 over a 10 game period in general, much less in the most pressure filled situations.  For the record, LeBron's W-L in these situations is 4-6; the wins and 1 of the losses had some spectacular numbers, the losses pretty pedestrian ones (by his standards).  Let's look at his playoff numbers though...


In 115 playoff games, the splits get better, going to 47/31/75, which is respectable.  The averages of 28.5/8.7/6.7/1.7 with nearly 1 block a game are top-tier level, even if he turns the ball over more than desired.  Outside of shooting splits, he's generally performed better in elimination game situations than in his overall playoff numbers.  Moving to his regular season numbers, we get some pretty exemplary ones...

As expected of someone who's been championed as one of the best in the regular season, we get some pretty great numbers, with 27.6/7.2/7.9/1.7 on 48/33/75 splits.  Outside of assists, LeBron performs either at or above his RS numbers, which are already stellar.  He could stand to take some free throw shooting classes, but his other numbers are pretty decent for a wing player who isn't a 3pt specialist.  Most surprisingly, his 3P% is pretty good for someone who causes me to cringe whenever he takes a 3 point shot.

Captain Cheese Eyes...

Now we move to the G.O.A.T., Michael Jordan.  I've ignored his Wizards years, because: 1. I've ignored the years where Kobe didn't start, thus making most of his numbers better, and 2. We can all agree that a 40 year old MJ playing after taking a couple of years off wasn't the MJ we remembered.  Also, since the Wizards didn't make the playoffs when he played, it would skew what I'm trying to compare here.

Michael Jordan has been in 13 elimination games; his record is 6-7...so right away we see a myth propagated by those of us who watched his 90s games busted (that those who watched his earlier shit already knew): MJ indeed did not will his team to victory in every win-or-go home situation.  In fact, he lost more of these than he won.  Of course, after winning his first championship (and thus having a championship team), he only lost 1, which was during his comeback season, but still, MJ was not perfect.  His performance in these games is also eye-opening


His splits are actually pretty similar to Kobe's average splits, going 46/33/76.  His numbers are predictably ridiculous; 31.3/7.9/7/2/1.3 is phenomenal.  Consider that this is a 6'6" 200lb guard and not a 6'8" 260-270lb monster like LeBron and they're even more ridiculous.  His numbers are very comparable to LeBron's, and his steals and blocks show his perimeter defensive savvy (as well as differences in play), but again, we see a large number of turnovers due to MJ being a primary ballhandler.  His overall playoff numbers are also stellar...

On 49/33/83 splits, MJ went off for 33.4/6.4/5.7/2.1 with 3 turnovers a game (over 179 games).  Wow.  As we already knew, MJ's playoff scoring was exemplary.  He has the highest playoff PPG over a career in NBA history, and the gap isn't as close as it is for his regular season PPG record.  Dude could score.  2 steals and a block a game, along with around 6 rebounds and assists is also nothing to scoff at, and his splits are very efficient.  MJ was a monster.  His regular season numbers reveal more of the same.

In 930 games, his regular season splits are even more efficient; who in the NBA today is scoring 31.5ppg on 51/33/84?  We could see Kevin Durant do something similar next season (excluding FTs, LeBron could as well), but outside of them, I doubt we'll see anyone else approach those numbers.  Oh, and by the way, he was also averaging 6rpg/5apg/2.5apg/1bpg as well.  Keep in mind that these are CAREER numbers, rather than a single season, and it's easy to see why MJ is considered the greatest wing player of all time.

Can we get dude back in the league?

Allen Iverson is a personal favorite of mine; they listed him at a generous 6' 160lbs (when he was probably closer to 5'10" 150lbs) and you'd be very hard-pressed to find anyone who played with more heart.  Unlike Kobe who got to benefit from studying under veterans AND being able to share the lead role with the most dominant player of his time, Allen Iverson had to pretty much carry his team from the beginning.  It's telling that in his rookie season he scored 40 or more points in 5 straight games (breaking Wilt's record)...and they lost all 5 games.  You might remember that his playoff PPG is second only to Jordan, but it's also easy to remember that he was the definition of a volume scorer.

In 13 elimination games, Allen Iverson had a 5-8 W-L record.  He had a number of 30+ point performances that resulted in losses, and showed up on these occasions.  On 39/35/83 splits (A TERRIBLE FG% for a top player) he averaged 28.7/3.2/5.5/1.8 a game WHILE PLAYING 45.5 MINUTES A GAME.  Again, a true volume scorer (he averaged ~26 shots a game to get those ~29pts) but his effort was almost never in question, and his 83% mark at the FT line is a 5 percentage point improvement over his regular season marks (and a 7 point increase over his average playoff marks).

In the playoffs, we see similar numbers.  On 40/33/76 splits (pretty inefficient), he averaged 29.7/3.8/6/2 over 71 games.  Scoring nearly 30 points a game in playoff play is a feat on its own, but also averaging 6 assists and 2 steals, along with playing 45.1 MINUTES A GAME is just otherworldly.  A true competitor, even if his style of play never resulted in a championship.

His regular season numbers don't deviate too much from his playoff numbers.  On 43/31/78 splits, AI averaged 27.7/3.8/6.3/2.2 over 829 games (playing 41.8min a game).  Injuries and differing roles be damned, AI put up fairly consistent numbers, winning 4 scoring titles along the way.  As defenses clamped down on him in the playoffs (he was generally the only real offensive weapon until he moved to Denver) his FG% plummeted, but he maintained his high level of scoring.

Dwyane Wyane

Dwyane Wade is widely considered to be the best SG in the game right now.  If he lasts as long as Kobe will (which I actually doubt, even with LeBron playing alongside him) he could surpass some of Kobe's career marks.  Considering the number of games he has already missed due to injury, this is next to impossible in my opinion, but who knows, maybe the advances we've made will enable him to play 17 seasons.  We all remember Dwyane's remarkable Finals run in 2006, but what were his numbers like overall?

Dwyane Wade is 5-6 in elimination games.  He's had a couple of historical playoff performances that resulted in wins, and on 44/30/87 splits he's averaged 26/5/5.4/1.4/1.  Overall, he's not the model of efficiency, but what is remarkable here is his FT %.  When you compare his FT% in these games versus playoff games in general and then his career, you see that Dwyane steps up in a unique way compared to everyone else I chose here.

In 110 playoff games, Dwyane averaged 25.2/5.6/5.3/1.7/1.1 on 48/32/78 splits.  His 3 point shot is on par with everyone else selected (which is interesting when you see his regular season rate) and his all-around production is above average.  Out of those selected, his scoring average is the lowest, and while his FG% is second only to MJ, his 3P% and FT% aren't anything special.

His regular season averages are pretty close to his playoff numbers, at 25.1/5.1/6.2/1.8/1.  His splits, however, are where the differences lie.  In the regular season, his shooting splits are 49/29/77.  That means that going from the regular season to elimination game situations, the differences are -5/-1/+10!  Any improvement on an abysmal 29.1 3P% is appreciated, and the FG% drop is expected as you face tougher teams in the playoffs.  However, he makes up for it with his 10pt increase in FT%...no one else shows an improvement at that rate.



So basically, in elimination game situations, we have these lines

Kobe Bryant -      23.9/6.3/3.8/1.2 on 41.5/29.7/72.7 splits
LeBron James -    31.4/10.2/6.6/1.1 on 46.4/28.3/69.2
Michael Jordan -   31.3/7.9/7.0/2.0/1.3 on 45.8/33.3/75.7
Allen Iverson -      28.7/3.2/5.5/1.8 on 38.9/34.9/83.3
Dwyane Wade -   26.0/5.0/5.5/1.4/1.0 on 43.7/30.0/87.0

In comparison to their overall playoff averages, this represents a change of...

Kobe Bryant -       -3.5/+.8/-1.1/-.3 on -3.4/-3.8/-9.2
LeBron James -    +2.9/+1.5/-.1/-.6 on -.5/-2.9/-5.3
Michael Jordan -   -2.1/+1.5/+1.3/-.1/+.4 on -2.9/+.1/-7.1
Allen Iverson -      -1.0/-.6/-.5/-.3 on -1.2/+2.2/+6.9
Dwyane Wade -     +.8/-.1/-.7/-.4/0 on -4.9/+.9/+10


Interestingly enough, going by what I have found, you could argue that anyone here outside of Kobe steps up on these occasions.  LeBron improves on scoring and rebounding, while getting slightly lower assist numbers, MJ scored less but added rebounds, assists, and blocks, and outside of FT%, maintained a decent level of efficiency, AI saw his overall numbers dip slightly but improved his 3P% and FT%, and Dwyane basically did the same thing as AI, except with a bit more of a scoring improvement and a ridiculous improvement at the foul line.  Even though LeBron's overall numbers are simply ridiculous, I'm going to give the nod to Jordan here, based on his scoring efficiency compared to the field.  It must be noted that there are a number of variables here not accounted for (such as playing pace, injuries, age, etc.) so really there is a lot more going on behind these numbers.

That being said, I feel like if someone is supposed to be "king of the clutch" or whatever title it is that Kobe fans have anointed him with, he shouldn't see a near universal decrease in his numbers when he encounters these situations.  I'm sure his fans will point to the fact that he's the only one of these 5 with a positive W-L record in these situations (I'll note that the games I struck from the record for him were both losses, so in actuality he's 9-10), but I would argue that he played with better teams than any of the others, with the possible exception of LeBron/Wade's Heat (who still had an injured Chris Bosh) and Jordan's '98 Bulls (who actually got a great performance from Kukoc in that elimination game).  At the end of the day, it's hard to ascribe wins to a player who played subpar in said wins.  We can also see that this is still a problem today...despite him scoring 42 points in the season finale this year, in Game 7 vs Denver he shot 7 for 16, for 17 points.  In the final game against Dallas in the '11 playoffs, he shot 7 for 18 for 17 points.  He's only getting older, so I can't imagine him doing particularly well in these situations going forward.  Luckily, he's got a 6'11" security blanket in Dwight Howard, so should he have another 6 for 24 outing in a "win or go home" situation, he'll probably leave with another win, helping to perpetuate the Kobe myth.


Side note: I did a casual glance at Reggie Miller's numbers in these situations, and before he got old...dude was beasting, hahahaha.  I might edit this post this week with Reggie's numbers, but I'm too exhausted to do it now.

The White Howard.

You are a fuckboy.

So after 4 months of bullshit, Dwight Howard finally got what he wanted...he's out of Orlando.  Partially due to his own fuckery, he was unable to get to his stated preferred destination (the Brooklyn Nets) and instead is playing where he had said multiple times that he didn't want to go........the Los Angeles Lakers.  Helping to facilitate the deal are the Philadelphia 76ers (who get Andrew Bynum AND the bonus of not facing Dwight in the Eastern Conference playoffs) and the Denver Nuggets (WHO FOR SOME REASON ARE COOL WITH BRINGING THE WHITE HOWARD INTO THEIR CONFERENCE).

What did Orlando get out of this, you ask?  Arron Afflalo (a good 2-way SG), Al Harrington (a pretty decent forward), Nikola Vucevic (mostly still an unknown big in NBA play), Moe Harkless (a rookie), and a protected future first round pick from LA, Philly, and Denver.  They also got to dump Jason Richardson's contract.  I'm reading arguments up and down about the goal being to do so poorly that they get good picks out of these first round picks.  Is there going to be a center as good as Andrew Bynum in the near future?  And the picks are from...the Lakers (what picks do they even have at this point?  Anyway, whatever picks they have won't be any good, unless they get them from someone else), the Nuggets (who will be a playoff team for a while), and Philly (who, with Bynum, will also be a playoff team)...so, what picks are they getting again?  Fuck Orlando.  No, the picks from the Nets wouldn't really have been any better (if anything, they'd be worse), but you would have gotten a legit offensive center, a good rebounder, gotten rid of more bad contracts, etc.  With what I was hearing out of some of the media about the Nets deal, I was SURE that Orlando would get an excellent deal out of the whole thing (actually, I felt that either they'd get a Denver/Carmelo-esque deal or Dwight would leave for next to nothing).   Instead, we get this bullshit.

You're gonna have that look a lot bruh

The annoying things about this include Dwight consistently stating he didn't want to go to LA and Orlando doing all sorts of stupid shit.  Duwhite had been saying for a while that he didn't want to follow in Shaq's footsteps, that he didn't want to play alongside Kobe, etc., yet because he decided to waive the early termination option in his contract, he was pretty much stuck with the Magic until they got the deal that they wanted (more on this later).  He wanted to go to Brooklyn, but when the Nets were threatened with an offer sheet for Brook Lopez, they had to take him off the market (by overpaying him).  After that, I heard rumors that he wouldn't sign an extension for anyone but BK (still hearing this btw), and that this was keeping most teams from wanting to commit to a trade for him.  I heard about a possibility that Atlanta would trade for Howard (thanks to Josh Smith and Dwight Howard's friendship), but that was squashed.  Houston pretty much gutted their team to make room for Howard and the contracts that Orlando wanted to get rid of, AND they picked up Jeremy Lin, hahaha.  Somehow, that deal never materialized.  Then...the Lakers rumors started.  Again.  First, I was hearing Bynum and The Artest Formerly Known as Ron for Howard...but Orlando wanted to dump bad contracts, so the deal was a no go.  Then the Cleveland deal...how ironic would that have been?  Dan Fucking Gilbert facilitating a deal letting Dwight do to Orlando what LeBron did to Cleveland...wow.  Luckily, for whatever reason (apparently Bynum was never talked to?) that deal also fell through.  At this point, I resolved myself to the fact that Howard was getting to LA.  Every other team in the NBA seemed to be committed to getting Dwight there.  I blogged before about it...meh.  The Lakers get what they want.  It's an NBA fact.  It was just a matter of what teams would be a part of the deal.  The thing that kept irking me though...no matter what deal I heard that involved LA/Orlando (outside of the first deal), Orlando wasn't getting Bynum.  The only reason I was somewhat OK with the deal with LA was that at least Orlando could get close to equal value.  Howard is a better passer, defender, and rebounder than Bynum, but Bynum is the 2nd best center in the league.  The closest thing they were going to get to Howard was Bynum.  I could at least understand trying to get Bynum.  But instead of that, every third team involved was getting Bynum and Orlando was getting shit.

This brings me to Orlando.  WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.  You bitch about getting rid of contracts, you only get rid of Jason Richardson.  You want draft picks, you get PROTECTED picks from two definite playoff teams and one fringe playoff team.  You don't want to send Dwight where he wants to go, so you let him use reverse psychology to get him exactly where he wants to go.  You want to get value, and you turn down a decent 5/4 combo (Lopez/Humphries), a talented young 2 (MarShon Brooks) in favor of an aged forward (Harrington is good, but this will be his 15th season), a good 2 (Afflalo is young, and DEFINITELY on the upswing.  15ppg on 47/40/80 splits along with good defense is very good) and some unknowns.  Additionally, you help a conference rival get...you know, the 2nd best center in the league.  Granted, Afflalo is an upgrade at the 2 spot.  I 100% agree with getting him out of this deal, and it's not a bad move.  An Afflalo/Nelson backcourt isn't terrible, and after losing Howard, getting some defense in exchange for a washed up vet (J-Rich) is not bad.  I just feel like...you didn't get much else.  Harrington is old, and preferably, Glen Davis would fill the roles that Harrington fills (outside of the 3 ball).  Your Dwight replacement is...Vucevic?  I don't even know at this point.  Houston could have given you more picks and taken more contracts off of you.  The Atlanta deals I saw would have given you Al Horford (a former All-Star) and Jeff Teague (a solid young guard) along with Zach and picks.  Yet you decide to get next to no paint presence in the final deal, give Bynum to Philly, AND manage to piss me off by giving Howard to LA.  FUCK YOU, VERY MUCH, ORLANDO.  FUCK YOU.

Your Dwight replacement.  Congrats.

Now onto Philly.  You guys are winning.  You amnestied Elton Brand, you scooped up Kwame Brown, and everyone laughed.  "Oh, Philly wants to start Kwame Brown?  That'll be hilarious!" "They got rid of Lou Williams, picked up Nick Young, AND are getting Kwame?  So Philly's just throwing away their playoff hopes, huh?"  Then, this deal happened.  Granted, J-Rich is some bullshit.  But...suddenly, picking up Kwame as a backup and signing Spencer Hawes to a 2 year deal don't look like terrible ideas.  Andrew Bynum is good.  VERY good.  Do I think he's as good as Dwight?  Hell no.  Do I think he's better than Roy Hibbert?  HELL YES.  Bogut is in the West now, as is JaVale McGee.  Who's in the East for Bynum to bang with?  Howard's gone.  Garnett can't stop him.  Bosh won't be stopping him.  Horford can't stop him.  Hibbert can't stop him.  Tyson Chandler?  Joakim Noah?  Bynum is really going to have a field day in the East.  Tyson and Hibbert are probably his best match-ups next year, and I think he'll have good games at their expense.  It will be interesting to see how Philly does...I think their starting line-up now looks like Bynum/Hawes/Turner/Richardson/Holiday?  And Bynum as a #1 option?  Very interesting.

Forseeing some of this in the future

Lastly, Denver.  I am so cool with you guys getting Iggy.  Afflalo is good, but Iggy is an upgrade, period.  And really, Denver is great for Iggy.  He doesn't have to run the offense (Lawson/Miller do that), he doesn't have to be the top scorer (Lawson/Gallo can do that), he can focus on being a 2nd or third option and defensive specialist.  It's a great move for him.  HOWEVER.  You fucking helped a team you could possibly play in the playoffs...get THE WHITE HOWARD.  Of all the fucked up shit to do to yourself, bringing Dwight into your conference has to be near the top of the list.  I understand Orlando probably didn't want Howard in the East, so he was probably moving West all along, but damn.  Of course, with McGee and Mosgov, they're one of the better equipped teams to deal with the new Lakers (still), but ugh.  I would be doing whatever I could to keep Howard from joining a team I'd have to play against.  Again, though, that was obviously Orlando's thought process as well.  I don't think you all made out the best in this deal, but you definitely didn't make out the worst.



(There's nothing for me to say about the Lakers.  They got The White Howard.  End of story.)

Is there some sort of unwritten rule that causes GMs, etc. to act like complete idiots regarding deals with the Lakers?  Did the cosmos decide to make up for my generally good luck by making me hate the team that gets the most breaks in the league?  Seriously, fuck the Lakers.  I know David Stern can't do shit about this deal, but I'm holding out hope that he pull something out of his hat.

Where's Super Stern when you need him?

Mr. Elecyarmulke

My nigga Pietrus!

If you follow Elliott Wilson on Twitter (which, if you like hip-hop....you SHOULD be), then you saw the RT of Mr. Jay Electronica's twitpic of...

FUCKING INCREDIBLE.

YEA.  Apparently the album is done, as previously reported...and it's got 2 features each from Mr. Carter and Mr. West.  Fuck.  I was already hyped about this never being dropped future release, but damn.  My hype went through the roof, and my chill went out the window.  A Ronald Reagan sample?  "New Illuminati" with Kanye?  A track with Puff?  And NOT TO MENTION..."Nights of the Roundtable" (a play on words on Ms. Rothschild's Twitter handle, @KateRoundtable)  Man.  I didn't really think I could get more hyped about this shit, but FUCK.  Dude is nice, and if they IMPROVED "The Shiny Suit Theory," I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

This guy went from....

Oh word?

To this...

It's the ROC!

To this...

Jay Elect is a cold brother...

To this!

IT'S THE ROC, YOU BASTARDS!

Really, after the bullshit between him and Kate Rothschild came out, I heard a lot of mumbling about his album never seeing the light of day.  I don't believe in the Illuminati AT ALL, but fucking with a millionaire's wife can't possibly have a positive outcome, so I was also of the belief that Jay-Z might have to drop him from the label, and we wouldn't get the Jay Electronica album.  Seeing that tracklisting...I might shed a thug tear, man.  Give me a moment.

Now we just need a release date, and a single to drop...fuck, I don't think I'm ready for this album to drop.  Really, no matter how I look at it, this is going to be the first classic debut in a while...if that drops this year...this and Kendrick's debut should be great rivals to Nas' Life is Good for Hip-Hop Album of the Year.

WOOOOOOO

Rollin doobies up, huh?

Man.  I'd like to preface this review with the fact that I FUCKS WITH RICK ROSS.  So fucking much.  Really, out of everyone who's out doing shit regularly, Ross might be my favorite artist.  There's so much hate out there for dude, when really, he works hard.  He promotes his artists.  Who's put out more videos than him recently?  He does 95% of the shit that niggas bitch about label execs not doing, yet people hate him...for what?  Because he's got a fake persona?  Who fucking cares?  You're that worried about what another man did back in the day?  And he puts out quality work.  From Deeper Than Rap to the present, he really might be the most consistent artist.  Seriously, you've got, what, Deeper Than Rap, Ashes to Ashes, Albert Anastasia, Teflon Don, Rich Forever, and now God Forgives, I Don't...dude has put out quality work.  I've seen people mad because he's poppin commercially and his sound is ubiquitous...OK.  Go pop in your Immortal Technique cassette or your Papoose shit.  Just don't act like you're "real hip-hop" because you hate everyone on the radio.

Not really untouchable...but I fucks with it

If you've been following Ross at all, you know that he's a master of the absurd.  He has no platinum albums...in fact, no rapper in his crew has a platinum album...yet he runs "The Untouchable Maybach Music Empire" hahahaha.  He clearly gives no fucks about reality, which is great.  It works for him, and honestly, all signs point to him getting money, so...fuck it.



1. Pray For Us - Typical cinematic opening....if he had gotten DMX to sign to the label, it would have been dope as FUCK to have DMX do the prayer for this instead of using the joint from Baby Boy.


2. Pirates - Rick Ross has great delivery.  I think people sleep on him because his bars aren't the best, but have we seen a rapper so good at realizing what he's good at?  If you listen to Trilla or Port of Miami, you can tell he didn't yet know what his strengths were.  Those problems are far in the past now.  You already know what Ross is about, so drug dealing references abound.  Won't lie, when Meek Mill jumped in for a second, I was hoping for a verse.  I REALLY get annoyed with 2 verse tracks, but since this is basically an intro track, I'll deal.  Overall it's a typical Ross track, which means it's a pretty damn good start - 4/5

3. 3 Kings (Ft. Dr. Dre and Jay-Z) - Disclaimer: Jay-Z is my favorite rapper.  I think he's the GOAT, and I'll probably do a blog post detailing my argument for that over other rappers.  The way you all get hyped for an Andre 3000 guest verse...that's how I get for a Jay-Z verse.  So I pretty much already knew that I'd like this track.  Dre spits a verse...that was definitely ghostwritten.  At this point, it's more fun to try to guess who ghostwrote the verse, hahaha.  I'm kinda thinking Ross wrote it, to be honest.  Jay's got bars for days ("millions on the wall in all my rooms, niggas couldn't fuck with my daughter's room/niggas couldn't walk in my daughter's socks, Banksy bitches, Basquiat"), Ross puts in a double shift here with his and Dre's verses, and the beat is nice.  Reminds me of "Shit Popped Off" actually, which makes me think that even though it's credited to Jake One (a beatsmith in his own right), Dre probably had a lot to do with it.  5/5


4. Ashamed - Ross is REALLY good at picking beats.  The running gag is that he should executive produce a Nas album so that Nas actually has some good beats on his album, but really, he truly is that good at selecting beats.  He's rapping over some shit that would sound right at home on Mood Muzik 2 here, but of course, he's not dropping Joe Budden bars, hahaha.  He's actually got some quality introspection here, looking at his life growing up (although we really don't know what's true about Ross at this point), and his flow is good, as usual.  4/5


5. Maybach Music IV (Ft. Ne-Yo) - Really...when I saw this track title, I was looking for some killer features.  Maybe all of MMG?  Maybe Kendrick?  Instead we got solo raps with a Ne-Yo feature.  The beat is by the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, but you already knew that, right?  The format of this one is different from the previous Maybach Musics is different as well; we get 1 long verse and a short one, followed by an outro featuring Ne-Yo and LA Reid.  Shit is dope though.  The flow from this track to the next is great, and really, the sound is just as extravagant as the previous entries.  Personally, I would have rather had a guest verse or even a third verse though, so this one gets a 3.5/5


6. Sixteen (Ft. Andre 3000) - Yo.  Fuck Andre 3000.  Yea I respect the OutKast shit, yea The Love Below was dope, etc. etc. etc.  But really, fuck that dude.  I don't know when dude obtained this cult following, but the shit is annoying.  To be perfectly honest, he isn't that much better than Big Boi.  Not that that's a bad thing, Big Boi is dope as fuck.  But the shit is annoying as hell.  Bun B has a lot of stans, but at least Bun drops solo albums with some regularity, IN ADDITION TO his guest verses.  3000 just sits back and does random movies and Gillette commercials (we ain't forget that shit, bruh).

This guy....

Anyway, when I get past the glorification of this dude, it's a dope track.  Really laid-back and catchy...I actually catch myself doing the whole "when sixteen ain't enough" randomly.  3000 delivers a great verse, but again, I get annoyed with dude because he drops <10 verses a year, so it's like...he'd better be dropping great verses.  Anyway, I don't want to give it a 5 just because it's got that bullshit guitar shit at the end of it.  At least be good at the shit if you're going to be random, Mr. Jimi Hendrix.  Fucker.  Anyway, this one gets a 4.5/5


7. Amsterdam - Continuing with the chill tracks, we get this number.  The subject matter isn't anything special, you already know what Ross raps about.  He does some decent shit talking at the end of the track, and the beat is pretty fucking good.  I really can't stress enough how good Ross is at picking the right beats for his songs.  9th Wonder said some of these other rappers need to enroll in the Ross School of Beat Selection...he has a very valid point.  - 3.5/5


8. Hold Me Back - After all of the chill shit, we get to the other side of Rick Ross...the hood shit.  HONESTLY THOUGH.  WHERE THE FUCK IS FRENCH MONTANA.  HAAAAAAANH WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT ON THIS SHIT.  He's using this one as a single...and surprisingly enough, I actually don't fuck with this one.  I don't know if it's the sequencing or what, but this isn't the type of track that I like Ross rolling solo on.  This one needs either Meek or French. - 2.5/5


9. 911 - Another hood joint.  Another Ross solo.  ANOTHER TRACK THAT NEEDS FRENCH.  FUCK.  I don't really like this one either...I dunno, I think I've grown tired of the hood Rick Ross.  Truthfully, these types of tracks really don't work for Ross without a feature.  Having them back-to-back really compounded this feeling for me.  Before, we had "B.M.F." and "MC Hammer" and both of those were dope (although I could do without Gucci), better than either this or "Hold Me Back" - 3/5


10. So Sophisticated (Ft. Meek Mill) - Word.  Another hood joint, but this one has more bump to it, in my opinion.  That's great for Ross, because the album had hit a lull, and Meek Mill's voice and energy definitely got rid of that.  It's nice to finally have a Meek feature, but he waited mad long to do it...I would've placed this a little earlier.  This was the first "street single" from the album, and it bangs like a single.  Ross actually has some bars on this joint, like "we know you pussies, so you got my niggas masturbating"...double entendres from the BAWSE.  I fuck with this one, it's so sophisticated. - 3.5/5


11. Presidential (Ft. Elijah Blake) - Another one to vibe out to...I feel it though.  Really, even though this is supposed to be more for the ladies, it's the same shit Ross always raps about, so it's not really much different, outside of the beat and hook.  Man, Ross can really make you feel like you ain't doing shit with your life.  Still finds time to drop a bit of truth here though; "I never been in love until I heard a beat." Word.  Now it all makes sense - 3/5


12. Ice Cold (Ft. Omarion) - So on Self Made Vol. 2, I came to love the fact that Ross went out and signed Omarion...regardless of the stupid "Maybach O" nickname and shit.  On "Presidential" I was kinda thinking "yo where is Omarion though?," so having him on this one is dope.  Ross is kinda like Popovich at this point, it really seems like he pulls the best aspects of his team (with the possible exception of Wale).  This is another one for the ladies, in case Omarion's presence didn't alert you to the possibility.  I like it, it's better than "Presidential," probably because of the lack of that random ad-lib" - 4/5



13. Touch'n You (Ft. Usher) - I don't know if any of you listened to Game's R.E.D. Album, but my least favorite part was when he put 3 straight ones for the ladies together...Wale made a similar choice on Ambition.  I really hope this isn't some new trend, because I can't deal.  I guess it's what we get for not buying albums at the same rate that women do, but still, fuck that.  Last thing I'm trying to think about is Ross fucking b.  Was this the first real single?  Anyway, I don't really ever want to play this one again.  Can Usher get the fuck outta here? - 1/5


14. Diced Pineapples (Ft. Wale and Drake) - Another joint for the ladies.  I've gotta say though, I approve of rappers relegating Drake to "Captain Hook" instead of letting him drop a verse.  At this point, I'm hoping Ross has filled his "directed at females" quota for the album.  I'm partial to Wale, but I HATE when he does that poetry shit on tracks, man.  Fuck.  I absolutely LOATHE it.  The beat is smooth, but overall, this one is another one I'd skip. - 2.5/5


15. Ten Jesus Pieces (Ft. Stalley) - Finishing off the album we finally get a Stalley feature.  The beat is suitable for a final track, a really good track to vibe to.  Stalley is nice with it, the whole "Big did it the best, I mean, Nas did it fresh, Jay did it fresh, etc" line was fucking ill.  Some people probably thought he was talking about rapping, but...nah.  Anyway, this is a good way to end the album.  We get a little Spanish outro as well, continuing the Colombian mob boss motif, and really, it works for the most part.  It's hard to get drawn back into the "yo I move bricks" mood after 4 straight tracks for the ladies though.  Rare misstep by Ross in terms of sequencing.  This track, though, is dope - 4/5


Overall, I'm actually disappointed in this album.  Self Made Vol 2 and Rich Forever had me ready for some really great ignorant shit, along with some smooth shit, and while this album does have some good tracks, I just feel like it was weighed down by all of the ballads.  It started off great, hit a lull, kinda got its act together for the late middle, then was bad until getting lifted at the very end.  The bonus tracks are both from Rich Forever, with a new mix of "Triple Beam Dreams" and the same old "Rich Forever"...both are solid tracks, but we've already heard them before.  Since the bonus tracks are just tracks from the mixtape, I'll rate the album without them...this one gets a 3.5/5.  I'm disappointed!  I didn't peep the tracklisting before, so I genuinely expected greatness.  This is the worst collective effort Ross has had in a while...I need some time to adjust to this paradigm shift bruh

Noblesse #242

Did he go this far?

In Noblesse 241, we continued to take a look at Frankenstein's initial encounter with the noble clan leaders of Lukedonia.  As someone conscious of numerous mutant attacks (mutants are beings created by humans who have contracts with nobles...think a feral vampire), Frankenstein had beef with Lukedonia.  Taking the fight as a chance to "get more data" on the Dark Spear, Frankenstein summoned the demonic weapon to use against Ragar Kertia, leader of the Kertia clan.


Noblesse 242 picks up right where we left off, with Frankenstein having summoned the Dark Spear.  We learn something interesting about the Dark Spear; rather than being simply the weapon of a demon, it was created to copy the power of the soul weapons used by clan leaders.  Since humans possess a finite lifespan, the weapon was created using the souls of countless humans (Frankenstein references plagues and wars being used for this purpose...it really could be millions of souls)

Suddenly this panel makes sense...

At some point after the weapon's development, Frankenstein obtained it, and has been using it sparingly (this is my assumption, since he seemed pleased to find an opponent he could use it on).  Gejutel remarks that even so, Frankenstein doesn't have complete control over the weapon, to which Frankenstein responds that of course he's aware of that.  His purpose, he tells the two, is to show them that humans aren't weak.  At this point, he begins his assault using the Dark Spear, and despite Ragar's abilities (including stealth and being able to create copies of himself) he finds himself unable to subdue Frankenstein without killing him.  Realizing this, Ragar asks Gejutel for his assistance, and we finally get to see Gejutel's soul weapon, Regasus.

Not bad, not bad

The chapter ends with Gejutel, Ragar, and Frankenstein clashing as Frankenstein's power gets out of control.  Next chapter, I predict that they will successfully drag him before the Lord and/or Raizel, and we will finally get to see why Frankenstein serves Raizel so loyally.  Again, this chapter leaves you impressed with Frankenstein.  To be able to fight with a clan leader while using his soul weapon is a feat on its own, but to do so while fighting against your weapon as well...Frankenstein is something else.  The fight he had with Ragar was basically a rehash of the fight we saw between him and Rajak, so there's nothing to be impressed by there, but seeing the root of Frankenstein's anger toward Lukedonia was good.  I give this one a 3/5, if only because I LOATHE rehashes...it's like using stock footage in anime...that's that shit I don't like.

Noblesse Oblige

DARK FUCKING SPEAR

In case you weren't aware, I actually AM a nerd.  So I read a bunch of manga/manhwa, and I do other nerd shit.  Noblesse is a Korean webcomic that I read weekly...the storyline is interesting, the characters are neat, and the fights are good.  Really, Noblesse has come a long way, in both art and storytelling, which I'm sure is a result of the increase in interest in it.  The characters are mostly "pretty" and the art itself isn't bad...the fact that every page is in color is also a great help in terms of obtaining new readers.  Anyway, I figured that since I won't be doing any reviews of Bleach or Gamaran (this could actually still happen) that I should do reviews of one of my favorite manga that I am reading.

Noblesse #241

In Noblesse 239, we started to get into Frankenstein's past.  I'll do an overview of the Noblesse plot at some point soon, but Frankenstein is the #1 subordinate of the main character, Raizel.  He's an immensely powerful human who has lived for centuries, probably due to his use of demonic power.  His past is mostly a mystery, so getting these backstory chapters has been great.  With #241, we continued exploring Frankenstein's past, with the appearance of two clan leaders, Gejutel (whom we've already seen) and Ragar (who is presumably the father of the current Kertia clan leader, Rajak).  Clan leaders are on a completely different scale than any character we've seen, with the exception of Raizel (who is stronger) and Frankenstein (who is on their level), and it's obvious that Frankenstein hadn't encountered one as of yet.  They banter for a bit, and it's really surprising how similar Frankenstein was to M-24...Raizel had commented on it before, but....

So disrespectful

He was really that disrespectful to freaking clan leaders?  Frankenstein truly gave no fucks.  After getting into a bit of semantics about whether a noble is responsible for the actions of one subordinate to it, Frankenstein showed some true M-24-level anger issues and attacked Ragar, sparking the fight.

Well then.

Aaand...yea.

Ragar easily takes care of Frankenstein's initial attack, something he CLEARLY isn't used to seeing...but in true Frankenstein form, he responds with hundreds of the same attack at once.  The two fight to a stalemate at which point Ragar decides that, if he is going to take Frankenstein back alive, he will require his soul weapon.  After Frankenstein remarks that he knows that it's a soul weapon, he proceeds to summon his own weapon...the awesomely epic DARK SPEAR

ANSWER MY CALL.

HAAAAAAANH

Of course, that's how the chapter ends...but man.  I'm very excited to see how this turns out.  We pretty much know that Frankenstein ended up meeting the Lord and Raizel, so we can kinda guess that...Frankenstein and Ragar fought to mostly a standstill, then Gejutel got into it and they were somehow able to take him back without killing him.  I don't know how Raizel got involved (possibly because he could sense the fight?), but at some point Frankenstein becomes subordinate to Raizel, so considering his attitude in this and previous chapters (using nobles for experiments and such), something drastic had to happen for Frankenstein to become unconditionally loyal to Rai.

Frankenstein is really an awesome character...at this point, we've seen be kind, ruthless, inquisitive, and mischievous.  He has incredible depth and his backstory is already ridiculous...performing experiments on nobles?  Really?  Hahahahaha he's terrible!  I'm definitely ready for the next chapter, I'm giving this one a 5/5, even if only because of Frankenstein's hilarious banter!